Survive, Heal And Thrive After Infidelity
W Adultery is mentioned in Buddhist texts as one of a number of forms of similar sexual misconduct. Thus, a monk who is guilty of adultery is to be excommunicated from the Order but this is so in any case of sexual intercourse in which a monk is willfully involved, irrespective of whether the woman is married or not. For laymen, sexual intercourse is forbidden with any woman who is under any form of protection - whether that of parents, guardians, or husband. Ling 9 1111
The ten destructive actions suggest ten categories of inconsiderate behavior we need to avoid when striving for balanced sensitivity with respect to others and ourselves. We do not need to kill to cause physical harm. Beating or treating people roughly is also destructive, as is ignoring to help someone do a physical task when the person needs help. Taking what has not been given includes not only stealing, but also keeping a borrowed item longer than needed or not returning it at all. Inappropriate sexual behavior is not only rape or adultery, but also sexual harassment, ignoring the needs of one's partner when making love, or showing too little or too much affection. When working on sensitivity, we need to think as broadly as possible about our behavior and its consequences.
First, you believe that what you see is 'out there' when it is merely an optical illusion as the images first appear on the back of your eyeballs. Second, you are habituated to ideas based on the belief that all is 'out there'. Third, you are locked on the eye organ itself, and have no idea how to break its spell. Fourth, you are attracted to what you see and so you have a love affair with the visible world.
For example We hear a rumor about our friend, that this friend of ours is sleeping with another person's spouse. We then go and talk about it. We know it is wrong on some level, but we enjoy the gossip. This is unconscious, because we are willingly going against what we know is right. We want to experience those sensations. So, we hear the story, and we produce images in our own mind. We imagine the infidelity. It is very fast these images just appear it seems spontaneous. They just show up we see it we see the image we go and talk about it we go and describe the images that we have created. This is how stories get adulterated. One person tells a story and each person repeats it and by the time it gets back around to you it is totally different It is because of mechanical imagination. It is because of negative clairvoyance each person who hears the story imagines it, but that mechanical imagination is produced by the I which translates and changes the story. Every translation is an...
Are ample inferences in His sermons that it is wise and advisable to be faithful to one spouse and not to be sensual and to run after other partners. The Buddha taught that one of the main causes of the downfall of man is his involvement with other women (Parabhava Sutta). Of course the implication is that a woman who gets involved with many men is also bound to suffer. A person must realise the difficulties, the trials and tribulations that one has to undergo just to maintain a family life. These would be magnified many times when faced with self induced complications. Knowing the frailties of human nature, the Buddha did, in one of His precepts, advise His followers to refrain from committing adultery or sexual misconduct.
Hypnosis also offers techniques that allow rapid exploration and identification of underlying conflicts, unresolved feelings about past events, and factors beyond conscious awareness. For example, many patients have reported in an initial sex history that they had never experienced incest or sexual molestation. Later, however, early childhood sexual abuse was uncovered through the use of hypnosis. There are additionally times when adaptive functions are being served by sexual dysfunctions, of which the patient has only limited or no conscious awareness. A dysfunction, for instance, may serve as a way of protecting the patient against a fear (e.g., of infidelity), of punishing the self for past misbehavior, or of expressing anger toward a partner.
(3) Not to commit adultery is to refrain from illicit sexual behaviour. (7) Not to speak words that are beguiling is to speak words that are moral and beneficial for society. Beguiling words are words that sound nice, but have wrong thoughts and may result in killing, robbery, adultery, falsehood and other sins. They can be meaningless prattle and a waste of time.
Finally, respect for personal relationships means, first of all, to avoid sexual misconduct. Put most simply, it means avoiding adultery. Beyond that, it means avoiding sexual liaisons with people who are liable to be harmed by such relations. More generally, it means avoiding abuse of the senses. You can easily see how, if these guidelines are followed in a given community, such a community will be a better place in which to live.
Most people know that Buddhism lays a great deal of emphasis on the Law of Cause and Effect. But the causes and effects that we have created may not necessary be pure, Evil deeds such as killing, robbery, adultery and lies have causes and effects that are not pure. Likewise, even acts such as almsgiving, paying homage to the Buddha, or reading sutras are not necessarily pure.
Treasures (Buddha, Dharma and Sangha), observe the five precepts (not to kill, steal, commit adultery, lie or ingest intoxicating substances), and that you should read, study and inquire to make clear what you understand of the Dharma to be able to set up and maintain Right Understanding and Right View. In this way, you can be more free of desire, be more able to concentrate, and, in time, have successful meditation take place.
The first advantage of doing wholesome kamma is that you will get a good reputation. Because if you do not kill, do not steal, commit adultery or lie, you will get a good reputation. You will have nothing to be ashamed of when you do good kamma instead of evil kamma, and that is the second advantage of doing good. When you are facing a group of people, you would dare to face them without any sense of shame. Whereas, if you have done shame
W A woman renowned for her beauty born to a noble family in the city of Rajagrha in ancient India. When she discovered that her husband had committed adultery with her mother, she left him. Later, after remarrying, she was shocked to find that the mistress of her second husband was her own daughter by her first marriage. The discovery drove her to such despair that she left her second husband and became a prostitute intent on destroying all men . Still later, she became a nun under the guidance of Maudgalyayana whom she had failed to lure away from the Order . Yoko 1976 216 1184
People generally do not know how to repent. So, what should we do The great masters in the past thus compiled some procedures and observances that one could follow if one wants to repent. They taught us to chant word by word, contemplate and understand the teaching behind it. The services of repentance teaches us how to pay respect to the Buddha, seeking for the Buddha and the Bodhisattvas, loving kindness and compassionate protection. We should admit our own mistakes, knowing that killing, stealing and adultery are evil deeds, sincerely repenting our past evil deeds and be determined to practice for a better future. These are the procedures of repentance taught by the great masters in the past. However, the most important aim of these services is to develop one's mind to correcting oneself and repent sincerely for one's past evil deeds.
Then comes the question how do we create kamma It is created through the three doors of body, speech and mind. Through the body, we can kill, steal, and commit adultery. Through speech, we lie, cause disharmony by carrying tales from one person to another, use coarse speech and idle talk (gossip). Mental kamma is when we have excessive greed and covetousness, malice and hatred, wrong views, etc. Mental kamma is not so much thinking or stray thoughts but thoughts with some kind of intention behind them.
For example, if we just follow sexual desire without any reference to morality, then we become caught up in all kinds of things that cause self-aversion. There is adultery, promiscuity and disease, and all the disruption and confusion that come from not reining in our instinctual nature through the limitations of morality.
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